So my family decided to take a bus tour to Niagara Falls from Toronto, and by "bus tour" I mean 12 hour unnecessarily long tourist trap. Luckily the first stop along the way was a winery (timestamp 10:30 AM, aka 7:30 AM LA time). Today was definitely the earliest I've ever started drinking and ABSOLUTELY necessary. After 4 glasses of wine and 4 hours of random touristy bus stops we finally arrived in Niagara Falls.
That morning I decided to wear my "Moby Dick goes fly-fishing with a dominatrix" boots to fit in with the Maid of the Mist boat theme. Although I would never willingly allow people to wear any sort of poncho in public that is not a costume, whether mexican novelty or 1998 Walmart couture, I found the blue plastic gem pictured above to be utilitarian chic. What you may not realize is that "mist" is an understatement. Niagara Falls is very beautiful and looks serene and majestic from afar, but up close it is far from "misty". I felt like I was in some kind of swirling hurricane deathtrap, holding on for dear life to the railing while simultaneously trying to look at the waterfall without losing a contact. For a second I thought it was 2005 in New Orleans and I was in the midst of a viscous battle with Hurricane Katrina. (Too soon?)
Overall, I highly recommend visiting Niagara falls, it is 100% worth the trip in all its touristy glory. My only advice? Waterproof mascara.
Steph I just found this and am pleasantly surprised by your writing ability. The occasional misspellings can pass as ironic--or post-ironic, in which case you should be wearing a low v-neck with all your chest hair showing--and the travel photos are a satiric throwback to the late '90s and the societal influences of the age of technology. I have no idea what I am saying. But I really do like this, and I look forward to further posts to distract from my actual theory of doing work to get good grades.
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